I’m writing you because our relationship is done. You’ve changed so much since we met. I hope we can still be friends. I may love you, but I’m definitely not in love with you. You’re gonna have to learn to accept that. I’m not sure whether we can see each other in the future but, for now at least, I definitely need a break. It’s not me, it’s you. We need to start seeing other people. The SFRC will NOT be hosting you this year, Alley Sweeper. I am not running away from you, I am running towards myself. That being said, I want all of our friends to know that the alleys are public right of ways handed down from our forefathers. Forefathers that granted us all the right of access and freedom to their special gift. Even though we are no longer a thing, the alleys are still open to all and should be enjoyed 24/7/365. Open to our friends who treat them responsibly by nurturing the kale, chard, blackberry brambles, raccoons, rats and feral cats that dwell there; and always respect the shopping carts, compost piles, yard debris, abandoned firearm casings, used syringes and all the other colorful detritus that reside there and makes Portland so Portland.
Above all else, please, remember to keep all of OUR alleys well and truly swept, often and with love.
The Alley Sweeper is dead; long live the Alley Sweeper.
- Sang-Froid Riding Club